What Shape is this Waning?

The
washed-out
planet is
euphoniously shifting.  It
creaks and grinds with turning
but cannot escape from itself.  From us.  It
writhes in its own hot soup, trying to
heal.  It doesn’t want to
fail.  We mustn’t.
And yet
and
yet –

***

The
moon
has turned
away from me
tonight.  It peered over then,
having colluded with the sun earlier that day,
simply shrugged and slipped under a blanket.  Still,
I’ll wait for it, until
it’s cast off
its pall,
until
tomorrow.

***

Change
is
afoot.  Sands
of time glide
underfoot, slipping, never not shifting.
Nothing is still though it appears to be.
Light and shade persist in their love affair
defining this, that, you, me.
Merging only at
twilight before
parting
again.

© N Nazir 2021

Photo by Geni Hoka on Pexels.com

Written for dVerse poetry prompt: Concrete or Abstract? hosted by Ingrid. The challenge is to write a poem using only concrete nouns and imagery. Hence, the following words are banned: soul, love, lust, dreams, sorrow, suffering, heartache, wonder, etc and any other such abstract nouns.

* * *

I have used two lines from previous poems as prompts for these poems, using the Fibonacci form. I came across this form whilst doing NaPoWriMo earlier this year. It comprises of the following structure 1-1-2-3-5-8 though I have mirrored it backwards to make it longer: 1-1-2-3-5-8-8-5-3-2-1-1, mostly, because I enjoy the shape it makes 🙂 Plus I get more words to play with.

The line “the washed-out planet is euphoniously shifting” is the title of a poem I wrote a few months ago which you can read here if you so wish.

The line “the moon has turned away from me tonight” is from a poem I also wrote a few months ago entitled Caught In-between an Ache and a Dream which you can read here if inclined.

Thank you for dropping by ❤

49 thoughts on “What Shape is this Waning?

  1. I love the fibonacci form. There is something about its demanding syllable count that glides words into place in a novel way you might never have discovered without it.This turns like the planet herself, full of a deep rhythm, layer on layer exactly as the fibonacci sequence progresses throughout nature and the abstract, giving both form. What a precise and apt choice to illustrate the concrete concepts you paint so vividly.The lines you have chosen from previous poems are standouts, but they do not eclipse the new whole, with phrases like “stews in its own warm soup..” “colluded with the sun..” and my favorite, “nothing is still tho it appears to be..” which leads the reader down the perfect spiral. Excellent work.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Hedgewitch, your comments are truly the best! How do you see into my soul? From which potent soil did you spring? 😀 I love your description of the fibonacci sequence, it’s a poem in itself 🙂

      Thank you so much for your kind heartwarming words ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Manja!!!! Hello, lovely. Forgive me for being crap at visiting. I will amend to this error forthwith.

      Also, I was counting words rather than syllables so I may have led everyone up the garden path somewhat. Whoopsie! 😀 Perhaps it is syllables and not words? Oh well. I guess it’s a different form now. The Fib-onacci, perhaps? Oh dear. (Pun intended. I’ll try harder next time!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Please feel free to correct or offer comments or feedback in any way you wish at any time, Manja. It all leads to improvement one way or another, I always think. And you do have a discerning eye. It is supposed to be syllables with the Fib though, I just went a bit hay(na)ku / cuckoo with it! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  2. i really enjoyed your fibonacci poem, what a great idea for creating a structure, kind of reads like a cinquain, but somehow has a natural feel. years ago a professor of mine used to say that “the redwoods and galapagos tortoises are laughing at us” meaning that human life spans are so short and our attention spans so minimal that we can see the world are is really is… in constant change and flux. this poem reminded me of that. sorry, getting carried away! really enjoyed this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, Phillip! Please feel free to get carried away with comments any time, I love your whole comment. If trees could speak indeed!

      I actually got the structure wrong, ha ha! It should have been syllables, not words, I just didn’t think as I wrote it! Thanks again 🙂

      Like

    1. Absolutely right, Brendan! Your comment is a poem in itself. Science and journalism get to inform the masses and state facts, but it doesn’t always move the heart to action, does it? I particularly love the fact that poets get a license to say the unsayable to some extent. Thank you for stopping by ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Bob! Good to hear from you ☀️ Thank you for your lovely comment. The third section was very off-cuff so I’m pleased you liked it.

      Have you been writing much lately? I hope to read more of your fine poems very soon☀️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sometimes you have to go somewhere uncomfortable with the writing to see what happens. Or totally change up your style. By trying out a new form or prompt maybe? But then I’m still learning! ☀️ Wishing you well with it 😊🍀

        Liked by 1 person

  3. sanaarizvi

    This is exquisitely woven, Sunra! 💝💝 I resonate with; “Sands of time glide
    underfoot, slipping, never not shifting.” You have such a flair for making the reader feel and that too, deeply, what your words have to offer 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s