Darth Vader’s to-do list

  • Give your suit a steam clean (it’s due).
  • Try not to breathe so heavy on the phone. It freaks everyone out.
  • ABORT MISSION: Luke Skywalker will not join the dark side. Let it go already.
  • Visit Cybertron. You always wanted to. It seems like such a cool planet. Perhaps there they’ll accept you for who you are.
  • Do some yoga, you’re getting a bit creaky (maybe just try it without the cape next time).
  • Get a new face made. Current face freaks everyone out.
  • Don’t hug anyone (be proud, you’ve nailed that one).

  • NEW MISSION: Kill all the unicorns in the world. In fact, remove anything pastel from existence.
  • Practise self-love.
  • Perhaps change name. Daddy Velociraptor? No, too many syllables. Doctor Valour? No, no one’s going to buy that.
Darth Vader rethinking his life choices

© N Nazir 2021

*I have nothing against unicorns or pastels. I was merely channelling Darth Vader.

NaPoWriMo Prompt: List Poem